Monday, 8 June 2015

How dare You!

This is my life, a set path I'm supposed to take, but a lot has happened along the way. 
If it wasn't this it was that. If it wasn't him it was her, if I wasn't employed id be a hoe. 
There’s just so many things I just can't seem to let go off. I am not at peace in my head, if It isn’t the kids it’s their daddy oh how I’m planning for them and their not yet born, but I see it, a comfy life, big ring and car seats, my own perfect family. But you opted out so the plan must change. How dare you, lead me so far in this train of thought only to not have me reach my destination, but I'll be damned if I lose myself to find you, change my dreams to keep you. I am Tempted to wait but I can’t lose time I can’t get back so middle finger up as I release you. I can’t do it, I won’t deprive myself of life’s infinite possibilities, I’m too grown for this, I need to stay focused, even when the walls are closing in I need to make it, I wanna tell my mama I made it, put her in a big house on the mountains, have her smile light up all the rooms and have her laugh vibrate the moon. How dare I even think of giving up, for people who dint think I was worth sticking around for? I say to you….black woman how dare you let yourself be a statistic for those who abused and used you, cherish you, love you. Because you are deserving of all that’s good let a positive mind guide you, it gets hard at times, with tears rolling down your eyes but keep your head high and take it one stiletto at a time

how dare you quit because that idiot left you with the kids
how dare you give up on your dreams because your father doesn't support you
how dare you hold on to a man who continues to hurt and break you
accept minimum wage cause you don’t think you qualify for the management post 
how dare you? HOW DARE I?

Now I’m getting pissed, for all the times I put you first when you weren’t deserving, I am tired of this. Going out of my way to do good by you, and I mean all of you. You took so much of me that I can’t bear to give anymore even to those who need me. But your treatment and judgement somehow strengthened me. I will go out to the world, with all my scars intact as their reminder that God heals. He healed even me and I’m grateful. I walk down the streets in my hood and have their heads turn to every move I make, I am proud of me. Thanks to the gentle hands of the women who helped raise me, I salute thee. They took me in, when I had eyes filled with rivers of tears for the struggles my mother endured to give me all I need and wanted. I hope she knows how much I love her. I don’t regret the acts of kindness I’ve showed you, I just needed you to say a simple thank you. But you too have stood by me, when I was half lover and half time bomb yet you accepted me, how can I repay thee?  Maybe with a sorry for I know it couldn’t have been easy dealing with an emotional mountain that is me, but still you climbed over me planting seeds that love does exist and that all isn’t bad in this world. Sooo I urge you, to continue and light up the smiles of the broken, love does heal so I dare you, to go out into the world as no1 other than yourself, and they will love you, just like I do

I dare you to keep your head up high to the stars named after you
I dare you to make full use of the talents the heavens gave you
I dare you to set the standard of how people should treat you
I dare you to cut all ties with the ones who are always pulling you down

I DARE YOU........

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